Lot Nº 91 · Season 26 · Provenance: public GitHub
Simon Willison, rated 91
Holo tier — earned, never bought. Scouted live from the public record; fee at the hammer: €173M to FC Barcelona del Código.
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The card stays live — it updates as the stats change.
What do these numbers mean?
- OVR /99 — the overall rating: all six stats blended on a curve where 99 is deliberately unreachable. Even the legends top out in the mid-nineties.
- PAC Pace — how often this profile ships (public events per week, ~90-day window).
- SHO Shooting — stars earned on original repos. Impact, not volume.
- PAS Passing — pull-request activity plus follower reach. How much the work connects.
- DRI Dribbling — language range across repos, with a bonus for balance.
- DEF Defense — how much of their own work is still maintained six months on.
- PHY Physical — seasons on GitHub plus consistency inside the window.
- TIERS — Bronze to 59 · Silver from 60 · Gold from 75 · Holo from 87. Earned from the rating, never bought — every card design keeps the true tier.
- DATA — public profile, public repos, and ~90 days of public events, read live. Private work is invisible to the scouts, so private-repo heroes rate lower than they deserve. It's a vibe check, not a performance review.
🔥 The roast
Observations your profile earned. All of it is public record — zero AI.
- 🔥🔥5 repos named some variant of "todo", "test", or "tutorial". The learning phase is allowed to end, you know.
- 🔥No bio. Mysterious, or just never got past "// TODO: write bio"?
- 🔥Well-maintained repos, real stars, consistent activity. We came here to roast and found nothing flammable. Disgusting behavior, honestly.
Every line is computed live from public GitHub data — nothing is written or stored about anyone. If you'd rather your handle not appear in our example lists, tell @codewitholgun and it comes off.
🧬 Developer archetype
Detected from when, what, and how you ship.
Shipping Machine
Push early. Push often. Push again.
The event feed reads like a metronome. Whatever the streak counter says, the real number is higher — this profile does not stop.
🕐 Commit clock
Public activity from the last ~90 days, hour by weekday (UTC).
🧪 Language DNA
What the public repos are made of.
👯 Dev twin & nemesis
Closest and furthest stat vectors in the legends pool. The tape doesn't lie.
Twin math: normalized distance across all six stats, against the 39-legend pool.
🧭 Dev alignment
Where the shipping style lands on the eternal grid. Computed, not chosen.
Lawful Merger — Reviews before merging. Squashes politely. Sleeps at night.
🔎 Scout report
The signing brief — what a technical scout would circle on this profile.
Play style: 🚢 Shipping Machine — Push early. Push often. Push again.
🤝 Work with Simon Willison
The scouting file, in hiring terms.
Everything above derives from the public GitHub record — no résumé inflation possible.
💰 Transfer market value
BREAKING — the fee the scouts put on this profile.
Scouting report — fee adjustments
Scout’s notes — what would raise the fee
Comparable transfers, season 26
Transfer fees are football fiction computed from public GitHub signal — the underlying numbers (stars, activity, maintenance, reach) are real.
⚔️ Dev vs dev
Pick an opponent. Same stats, same rules, one winner — the battle gets its own shareable page.
🏆 Trophy cabinet
Most-starred public repos.
🎖️ Medal cabinet
8 of 10 unlocked — every medal is earned from public signal, none are for sale.
Want the pack-rip animation, local-timezone commit clock, and a battle picker with live search? Everything here also lives in the full interactive tool →