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LETTERS PATENT · SEASON 26 KNIGHT CHRIS WANSTRATH the Silent SWIFTNESS 30 MIGHT 90 HONOR 71 WIT 84 GUARD 31 RESOLVE 76 65 RANSOM €11M @defunkt SWORN ON THE PUBLIC RECORD git.findutils.com/defunkt

Decree Nº 65 · KNIGHT of the realm · Provenance: public GitHub

Chris Wanstrath, rated 65

By these letters patent: KNIGHT defunkt the Silent, rated 65 of 99 — sworn on the public record, arms granted, never bought.

RUBY 18 seasons pro @defunkt ↗

Manuscript

IlluminatedGold leaf on dark oak CrusadeCrimson banners, tempered steel Winter CourtSteel blue, northern watch

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Type-of-dev card Half-time report

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Markdown for your README, iframe for your personal site — the card stays live either way.

What do these numbers mean?
  • OVR /99 — the overall rating: all six stats blended on a curve where 99 is deliberately unreachable. Even the legends top out in the mid-nineties.
  • PAC Pace — how often this profile ships (public events per week, ~90-day window).
  • SHO Shooting — stars earned on original repos. Impact, not volume.
  • PAS Passing — pull-request activity plus follower reach. How much the work connects.
  • DRI Dribbling — language range across repos, with a bonus for balance.
  • DEF Defense — how much of their own work is still maintained six months on.
  • PHY Physical — seasons on GitHub plus consistency inside the window.
  • TIERS — Bronze to 59 · Silver from 60 · Gold from 75 · Holo from 87. Earned from the rating, never bought — every card design keeps the true tier.
  • DATA — public profile, public repos, and ~90 days of public events, read live. Private work is invisible to the scouts, so private-repo heroes rate lower than they deserve. It's a vibe check, not a performance review.
II

The Deeds

the chronicle, sworn on the public record

📜 The Chronicle

The deeds, campaign by campaign — from the public record.

  • Season 7took the oath — joined GitHub
  • Season 8raised the banner of facebox · glory ⭐1.9k
  • Season 8raised the banner of gist · glory ⭐3.8k
  • Season 11raised the banner of dotjs · glory ⭐3.1k
  • Season 11raised the banner of jquery-pjax · glory ⭐16.6k

⚔️ Spoils of Campaign

Treasures won — most-starred public repos, live links.

jquery-pjax

pushState + ajax = pjax

⭐ 16.6kJavaScript gist

Potentially the best command line gister.

⭐ 3.8kRuby dotjs

~/.js

⭐ 3.1kRuby facebox

Facebook-style lightbox, built in jQuery

⭐ 1.9kJavaScript unicorn

Unofficial Unicorn Mirror.

⭐ 1.5kRuby pystache

Mustache in Python

⭐ 1.3kPython

🏰 The Round Table

Each virtue against the table of legends (gold tick) — this is the round table, not all of GitHub.

SWIFTNESS · pace of deeds-34 vs the table
MIGHT · weight of works+3 vs the table
HONOR · standing-9 vs the table
WIT · breadth of craft+14 vs the table
GUARD · upkeep of the keep-16 vs the table
RESOLVE · years sworn-9 vs the table
III

The Readings

nine chroniclers on one knight
36.9kstars earned
22.7kfollowers
71own repos
18.7years on github
0.0events / week
1%still maintained

🔥 The roast

Observations your profile earned. All of it is public record — zero AI.

  • 🔥🔥🔥Public activity in the last 90 days: basically none. Your GitHub profile has the energy of an out-of-office reply.
  • 🔥🔥🔥Your most popular repo (jquery-pjax, 16648 stars) hasn't been touched in over a year. 1930 people forked it. They're waiting. Still waiting.
  • 🔥🔥70 of your 71 repos haven't been touched in over a year. You don't have side projects, you have a museum.

Every line is computed live from public GitHub data — nothing is written or stored about anyone. If you'd rather your handle not appear in our example lists, tell @codewitholgun and it comes off.

🧬 Developer archetype

Detected from when, what, and how you ship.

👻

The Ghost

Seen everything. Committed nothing.

Barely any public activity in the last 90 days. Either deep in private repos or deep in thought — the public record refuses to say.

⭐ The Baller🗺️ The Polyglot

🧪 Language DNA

What the public repos are made of.

Ruby59% · 32 repos
JavaScript13% · 7 repos
Emacs Lisp13% · 7 repos
Python6% · 3 repos
CoffeeScript4% · 2 repos
HTML2% · 1 repo
C2% · 1 repo
Io2% · 1 repo

👯 Dev twin & nemesis

Closest and furthest stat vectors in the legends pool. The tape doesn't lie.

YOUR TWIN · 99% match @brendangregg both know a repo graveyard when they see one, both pick their moments
YOUR NEMESIS · 55% match @matz ships every single week — no excuses
Settle it: battle your nemesis

Twin math: normalized distance across all six stats, against the 39-legend pool.

🧭 Dev alignment

Where the shipping style lands on the eternal grid. Computed, not chosen.

Lawful Merger
Neutral Shipper
Chaotic Force-Pusher
Lawful Committer
True Neutral Committer
Chaotic Committer
Lawful Archivist
Neutral Lurker
Chaotic Abandoner

Chaotic Committer — “wip”, “fix”, “final-final-2” — and somehow it works.

🔎 The Herald’s Report

The account — what the court chronicler would mark on this knight.

90
Work people starstars earned on original repos
84
Range across stacksbreadth and balance of languages
🔴 Needs preseason Quiet on the public pitch lately — private-repo minutes don’t show here.

Play style: 👻 The Ghost — Seen everything. Committed nothing.

9Languages
18Seasons
22.7kFollowers
1%Squad upkeep

✨ Scouting developers like @defunkt for your team? A hiring platform built on real GitHub signal is coming to FindUtils.

💰 The King’s Ransom

DECREED — the worth the court places on this knight.

€11M
Signs forOlympique Linterre
Release clause€16M
Contract3 seasons
Weekly wage€102K
PositionRUBY
Age18 seasons pro

Scouting report — fee adjustments

Injury-prone (90-day silence)-15%
Shirt sales (1k+ followers reach)+10%
Veteran leadership (8+ seasons)+8%
Squad depth (polyglot)+6%

Scout’s notes — what would raise the fee

+10% Rust premium the day Rust shows up in the repos
+12% current-form bonus at 20 events/week (now 0.0)
+7% for a high maintenance record — keep 70% of repos alive

Comparable transfers, season 26

P. O'Callback→ Borussia Dotfiles€11M
A. Lambda→ Sporting Segfault€9.4M
M. Refactorović→ Git City FC€9.8M

Transfer fees are football fiction computed from public GitHub signal — the underlying numbers (stars, activity, maintenance, reach) are real.

⚔️ The Joust

Name a challenger. Same virtues, same rules, one champion.

🎖️ Medal cabinet

5 of 10 unlocked — every medal is earned from public signal, none are for sale.

🏅 Century Club 36,874 stars on original work
🧲 Talisman 22,721 followers show up for this profile
🗣 Polyglot 9 languages in the public repos
🔒 Night Owl 40% of your public activity between 22:00 and 06:00
🔒 Iron Man Keep 80% of 5+ own repos alive
🎖 Veteran 18 seasons in the game
🔒 Wonderkid 10+ events/week inside your first two seasons
🎯 Sharpshooter SHO 90 — the stars keep coming
🔒 The Engine Rate 85+ Pace (shipping cadence)
🔒 The Wall Rate 85+ Defense (maintenance)
IV

The Oath

for lords seeking sworn swords
“🍔”
🧪 Ruby · JavaScript · Emacs Lisp 📅 18 seasons on GitHub ⚙️ 1% of repos maintained

● Sword unsworn — treat with Chris Wanstrath via the GitHub profile.

GitHub profile → Print dossier

Everything above derives from the public GitHub record — no résumé inflation possible.

Want the pack-rip animation, local-timezone commit clock, and a battle picker with live search? Everything here also lives in the full interactive tool →