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LETTERS PATENT Β· SEASON 26 KNIGHT CHRIS WANSTRATH the Silent SWIFTNESS 30 MIGHT 90 HONOR 71 WIT 84 GUARD 31 RESOLVE 76 65 @defunkt SWORN ON THE PUBLIC RECORD git.findutils.com/defunkt

Decree NΒΊ 65 · KNIGHT of the realm · Provenance: public GitHub

Chris Wanstrath, rated 65

By these letters patent: KNIGHT defunkt the Silent, rated 65 of 99 β€” sworn on the public record, arms granted, never bought.

RUBY 18 seasons pro @defunkt ↗

Theme

⚽ FootballThe auction house β€” four stadium designs 🎲 RPGCharacter sheet β€” class, level, alignment πŸ—‚ DossierClassified file β€” codename, threat level πŸ›‘οΈ KnightLetters patent β€” title, arms, the six virtues πŸ•ΉοΈ ArcadeHigh-score screen β€” pixel rank, lives, combo bars πŸš€ MissionFlight console β€” callsign, class, live telemetry πŸƒ CreatureCreature card β€” your generated companion, HP and attacks

Manuscript

IlluminatedGold leaf on dark oak CrusadeCrimson banners, tempered steel Winter CourtSteel blue, northern watch

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Type-of-dev card Half-time report

Embed in your README

[![@defunkt's GitHub Dev Card](https://git.findutils.com/defunkt.svg?theme=knight)](https://git.findutils.com/defunkt?theme=knight)
<iframe src="https://git.findutils.com/defunkt/embed?theme=knight" width="340" height="520" style="border:0" title="@defunkt's GitHub Dev Card" loading="lazy"></iframe>

Markdown for your README, iframe for your personal site β€” the card stays live either way.

What do these numbers mean?
  • OVR /99 β€” the overall rating: all six stats blended on a curve where 99 is deliberately unreachable. Even the legends top out in the mid-nineties.
  • PAC Pace β€” how often this profile ships (public events per week, ~90-day window).
  • SHO Shooting β€” stars earned on original repos. Impact, not volume.
  • PAS Passing β€” pull-request activity plus follower reach. How much the work connects.
  • DRI Dribbling β€” language range across repos, with a bonus for balance.
  • DEF Defense β€” how much of their own work is still maintained six months on.
  • PHY Physical β€” seasons on GitHub plus consistency inside the window.
  • TIERS β€” Bronze to 59 · Silver from 60 · Gold from 75 · Holo from 87. Earned from the rating, never bought β€” every card design keeps the true tier.
  • DATA β€” public profile, public repos, and ~90 days of public events, read live. Private work is invisible to the scouts, so private-repo heroes rate lower than they deserve. It's a vibe check, not a performance review.
II

The Deeds

the chronicle, sworn on the public record

πŸ“œ The Chronicle

The deeds, campaign by campaign β€” from the public record.

  • Season 7took the oath β€” joined GitHub
  • Season 8raised the banner of facebox Β· glory ⭐1.9k
  • Season 8raised the banner of gist Β· glory ⭐3.8k
  • Season 11raised the banner of dotjs Β· glory ⭐3.1k
  • Season 11raised the banner of jquery-pjax Β· glory ⭐16.6k

βš”οΈ Spoils of Campaign

Treasures won β€” most-starred public repos, live links.

jquery-pjax

pushState + ajax = pjax

⭐ 16.6kJavaScript gist

Potentially the best command line gister.

⭐ 3.8kRuby dotjs

~/.js

⭐ 3.1kRuby facebox

Facebook-style lightbox, built in jQuery

⭐ 1.9kJavaScript unicorn

Unofficial Unicorn Mirror.

⭐ 1.5kRuby pystache

Mustache in Python

⭐ 1.3kPython

🏰 The Round Table

Each virtue against the table of legends (gold tick) β€” this is the round table, not all of GitHub.

SWIFTNESS Β· pace of deeds-34 vs the table
MIGHT Β· weight of works+3 vs the table
HONOR Β· standing-9 vs the table
WIT Β· breadth of craft+14 vs the table
GUARD Β· upkeep of the keep-16 vs the table
RESOLVE Β· years sworn-9 vs the table
III

The Readings

nine chroniclers on one knight
36.9kstars earned
22.7kfollowers
71own repos
18.7years on github
0.0events / week
1%still maintained

🔥 The roast

Observations your profile earned. All of it is public record β€” zero AI.

  • 🔥🔥🔥Public activity in the last 90 days: basically none. Your GitHub profile has the energy of an out-of-office reply.
  • 🔥🔥🔥Your most popular repo (jquery-pjax, 16648 stars) hasn't been touched in over a year. 1930 people forked it. They're waiting. Still waiting.
  • 🔥🔥70 of your 71 repos haven't been touched in over a year. You don't have side projects, you have a museum.

Every line is computed live from public GitHub data β€” nothing is written or stored about anyone. If you'd rather your handle not appear in our example lists, tell @codewitholgun and it comes off.

🧬 Developer archetype

Detected from when, what, and how you ship.

πŸ‘»

The Ghost

Seen everything. Committed nothing.

Barely any public activity in the last 90 days. Either deep in private repos or deep in thought β€” the public record refuses to say.

⭐ The BallerπŸ—ΊοΈ The Polyglot

🧪 Language DNA

What the public repos are made of.

Ruby59% Β· 32 repos
JavaScript13% Β· 7 repos
Emacs Lisp13% Β· 7 repos
Python6% Β· 3 repos
CoffeeScript4% Β· 2 repos
HTML2% Β· 1 repo
C2% Β· 1 repo
Io2% Β· 1 repo

👯 Dev twin & nemesis

Closest and furthest stat vectors in the legends pool. The tape doesn't lie.

YOUR TWIN · 99% match @brendangregg both know a repo graveyard when they see one, both pick their moments
YOUR NEMESIS · 55% match @matz ships every single week β€” no excuses
Settle it: battle your nemesis

Twin math: normalized distance across all six stats, against the 39-legend pool.

🧭 Dev alignment

Where the shipping style lands on the eternal grid. Computed, not chosen.

Lawful Merger
Neutral Shipper
Chaotic Force-Pusher
Lawful Committer
True Neutral Committer
Chaotic Committer
Lawful Archivist
Neutral Lurker
Chaotic Abandoner

Chaotic Committer β€” β€œwip”, β€œfix”, β€œfinal-final-2” β€” and somehow it works.

πŸ”Ž The Herald’s Report

The account β€” what the court chronicler would mark on this knight.

90
Work people starstars earned on original repos
84
Range across stacksbreadth and balance of languages
🔴 Needs preseason Quiet on the public pitch lately β€” private-repo minutes don’t show here.

Play style: πŸ‘» The Ghost β€” Seen everything. Committed nothing.

9Languages
18Seasons
22.7kFollowers
1%Squad upkeep

✨ Scouting developers like @defunkt for your team? A hiring platform built on real GitHub signal is coming to FindUtils.

πŸ’° The King’s Ransom

DECREED β€” the worth the court places on this knight.

€11M
Signs forOlympique Linterre
Release clause€16M
Contract3 seasons
Weekly wage€102K
PositionRUBY
Age18 seasons pro

Scouting report β€” fee adjustments

Injury-prone (90-day silence)-15%
Shirt sales (1k+ followers reach)+10%
Veteran leadership (8+ seasons)+8%
Squad depth (polyglot)+6%

Scout’s notes β€” what would raise the fee

+10% Rust premium the day Rust shows up in the repos
+12% current-form bonus at 20 events/week (now 0.0)
+7% for a high maintenance record β€” keep 70% of repos alive

Comparable transfers, season 26

P. O'Callback→ Borussia Dotfiles€11M
A. Lambda→ Sporting Segfault€9.4M
M. RefactoroviΔ‡→ Git City FC€9.8M

Transfer fees are football fiction computed from public GitHub signal β€” the underlying numbers (stars, activity, maintenance, reach) are real.

βš”οΈ The Joust

Name a challenger. Same virtues, same rules, one champion.

🎖️ Medal cabinet

5 of 10 unlocked β€” every medal is earned from public signal, none are for sale.

πŸ… Century Club 36,874 stars on original work
🧲 Talisman 22,721 followers show up for this profile
πŸ—£ Polyglot 9 languages in the public repos
πŸ”’ Night Owl 40% of your public activity between 22:00 and 06:00
πŸ”’ Iron Man Keep 80% of 5+ own repos alive
πŸŽ– Veteran 18 seasons in the game
πŸ”’ Wonderkid 10+ events/week inside your first two seasons
🎯 Sharpshooter SHO 90 β€” the stars keep coming
πŸ”’ The Engine Rate 85+ Pace (shipping cadence)
πŸ”’ The Wall Rate 85+ Defense (maintenance)
IV

The Oath

for lords seeking sworn swords
“πŸ””
🧪 Ruby Β· JavaScript Β· Emacs Lisp 📅 18 seasons on GitHub ⚙️ 1% of repos maintained

● Sword unsworn β€” treat with Chris Wanstrath via the GitHub profile.

GitHub profile → Print dossier

Everything above derives from the public GitHub record β€” no résumé inflation possible.

Want the pack-rip animation, local-timezone commit clock, and a battle picker with live search? Everything here also lives in the full interactive tool →