Mission Nº 65 · ORBITAL class · Provenance: public GitHub
Chris Wanstrath, rated 65
Callsign SOLAR ANVIL, orbital-class — telemetry reads 65 of 99, streamed live from the public record. All systems nominal.
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What do these numbers mean?
- OVR /99 — the overall rating: all six stats blended on a curve where 99 is deliberately unreachable. Even the legends top out in the mid-nineties.
- PAC Pace — how often this profile ships (public events per week, ~90-day window).
- SHO Shooting — stars earned on original repos. Impact, not volume.
- PAS Passing — pull-request activity plus follower reach. How much the work connects.
- DRI Dribbling — language range across repos, with a bonus for balance.
- DEF Defense — how much of their own work is still maintained six months on.
- PHY Physical — seasons on GitHub plus consistency inside the window.
- TIERS — Bronze to 59 · Silver from 60 · Gold from 75 · Holo from 87. Earned from the rating, never bought — every card design keeps the true tier.
- DATA — public profile, public repos, and ~90 days of public events, read live. Private work is invisible to the scouts, so private-repo heroes rate lower than they deserve. It's a vibe check, not a performance review.
The Flight Log
telemetry, streamed from the public record🛰️ Flight log
The mission, burn by burn — from the public record.
- Season 7cleared the tower — joined GitHub
- Season 8launched facebox · delta-v ⭐1.9k
- Season 8launched gist · delta-v ⭐3.8k
- Season 11launched dotjs · delta-v ⭐3.1k
- Season 11launched jquery-pjax · delta-v ⭐16.6k
🏆 Mission patches
Completed flights — most-starred public repos, live links.
📊 Fleet comparison
Each system against the fleet average (amber tick) — this is the legends fleet, not all of GitHub.
The Readings
nine instruments on one mission🔥 The roast
Observations your profile earned. All of it is public record — zero AI.
- 🔥🔥🔥Public activity in the last 90 days: basically none. Your GitHub profile has the energy of an out-of-office reply.
- 🔥🔥🔥Your most popular repo (jquery-pjax, 16648 stars) hasn't been touched in over a year. 1930 people forked it. They're waiting. Still waiting.
- 🔥🔥70 of your 71 repos haven't been touched in over a year. You don't have side projects, you have a museum.
Every line is computed live from public GitHub data — nothing is written or stored about anyone. If you'd rather your handle not appear in our example lists, tell @codewitholgun and it comes off.
🧬 Developer archetype
Detected from when, what, and how you ship.
The Ghost
Seen everything. Committed nothing.
Barely any public activity in the last 90 days. Either deep in private repos or deep in thought — the public record refuses to say.
🧪 Language DNA
What the public repos are made of.
👯 Dev twin & nemesis
Closest and furthest stat vectors in the legends pool. The tape doesn't lie.
Twin math: normalized distance across all six stats, against the 39-legend pool.
🧭 Dev alignment
Where the shipping style lands on the eternal grid. Computed, not chosen.
Chaotic Committer — “wip”, “fix”, “final-final-2” — and somehow it works.
🔎 Flight Review
The debrief — what a program director would flag on this mission.
Play style: 👻 The Ghost — Seen everything. Committed nothing.
💰 Program Budget
APPROVED — the funding mission control assigns this crew member.
Scouting report — fee adjustments
Scout’s notes — what would raise the fee
Comparable transfers, season 26
Transfer fees are football fiction computed from public GitHub signal — the underlying numbers (stars, activity, maintenance, reach) are real.
⚔️ Docking Duel
Pick a second pilot. Same instruments, same rules, one docks first.
🎖️ Medal cabinet
5 of 10 unlocked — every medal is earned from public signal, none are for sale.
Crew Recruitment
for programs staffing a crew“🍔”
Everything above derives from the public GitHub record — no résumé inflation possible.
Want the pack-rip animation, local-timezone commit clock, and a battle picker with live search? Everything here also lives in the full interactive tool →